Crawling in the Dark
by amanda2887
Summary: Fear is how I fall, confusing what is real. Peter finds Neverland. But in the process of finding Neverland, he doesn't just lose his shadow. He loses himself.


**Crawing In My Skin**

**A/N: Ok so I wanted to shed some light onto who Peter is. I'm probably 100% wrong. Yes, we know Peter is a villian. But we know Peter and Rumple have history so I also wanted to explore that. **

_"Peter, I'm tired of the darkness." _

_"And I'm tired of your complaining. Wendy, don't make me regret keeping you."_

_He pretended not to hear her and even though he considered her a mousy being, her words were loud enough. "I don't want to stay anymore, I hate it here."_

How could she? He did his best to make her comfortable given the circumstances. She resented him for taking her family away, but she always failed to see the big picture. Peter needed John and Michael to carry his work and it seemed like anytime those three were together all they could talk about was going home. Home? What is home? Neverland was good enough for him, why couldn't it be for them?

Felix knew. Felix knew the day Wendy arrived in Neverland that she'd be trouble, that she would be the distraction that Pan couldn't afford to have. Pan just couldn't leave her.

He should have never taken her there. They used to play games together, he truly considered her a friend. When he took her to Echo Caves to discuss the future and how he needed the Heart of the Truest Believer, she was disgusted. Wendy was disappointed that he would choose magic over her. Peter averted his gaze with annoyance. "Stupid girl. You think you can come here and kiss me and think that would make me want to grow up?"

"Peter, there is a great world outside of Neverland. I've stayed here long enough."

"No, you haven't. Besides, we made a deal."

"How do I know you're telling me the truth? You cheat when we play games, and I'm not stupid! I know I mean something to you. You don't like when the other boys come near me and I even heard you once refer to me as 'Your Wendy'. So why are you lying and acting like I don't matter?"

"Because you don't. I never lie Wendy. If Baelfire was on this island, don't you think you would have seen him? And I don't like you near the boys because you baby them. These boys are called Lost Boys for a reason. They weren't wanted to begin with."

"Like you?" Wendy knew it was a low blow, but she was tired of the games, tired of the lies. Two could play that game.

_"You don't trust me! Pan called out to the older man. _

_"Things will be different when you're older. "_

"I'm sorry I didn't mean that. I'm just homesick that's all. I'm sorry Peter."

Peter smugly glared at Wendy. Who did she think she was? You can't make someone grow up. She had no idea what the stakes were. He wasn't lying. He did let Baelfire go. Of course, there was an agenda there. But that didn't matter. None of it mattered anymore. Magic was slowly starting to fade and he knew patience was a virtue but he needed the magic , much more than he needed her.

That was the night darkness fell upon them. Peter refused to see sunlight, as she was always that glimmer. Shortly, after Baelfire had 'escaped' Peter allowed Michael and John freedom as well. They were given conditions and told if they failed Wendy would die.

He just couldn't let her go. She needed to be punished.

Maybe he was the one who was foolish. Wendy had some kind of hold over him that he resented. He really did want Wendy. But Wendy looked at him like a project and he loathed those bloody feelings she gave him. In time, patience would come to him; but he needed Henry and right now he needed Henry a lot more than he needed Wendy. Henry would make the ultimate sacrifice but growing up was not an option. Wendy couldn't see that this wasn't just about growing up or the magic. Once the magic died completely, so would he. That mousy girl just couldn't understand that sometimes sacrifices have to be made.

Felix was actually right. They should have never kept her. Peter tried to convince Felix that his Shadow never makes mistakes and that this girl would eventually prove to be useful. He just needed to find a way to reign her in.

* * *

**Present Day**

Peter escorted Wendy back to her cage. "Peter, you can't do this!" Over the years, Peter and Wendy couldn't reconnect like they once had. She wanted so bad to bring back the Peter she once knew. Peter only held on the resentment-resentment towards her and resentment to the ones he used to call family.

"I know you, Wendy. You love your brothers and would do anything for them. But you're chastising yourself for lying to the boy. How do I know you won't try to stop me?"

Wendy stopped in her tracks, trying to see if she could pull the Peter she once fell in love with out "Because you're holding my brothers over my head. You're right, I don't want to see anything happen to Henry. It's not right, Peter."

"Wendy, you're my weakness. I should have let you go the moment my Shadow brought you to Neverland. But I couldn't. And now, I'm paying that price."

Peter motioned her back in the cage, "Peter Pan! Why do I scare you so?" Wendy angrily yelled.

Peter refuses to meet her gaze. Maybe it was regret of the years he had pushed her away, or maybe it was hesitation that she had some kind of power over him that he couldn't control. In Neverland, he always liked to have control. Wendy was unpredictable...she was the only thing he truly couldn't control.

"You don't scare me, Wendy." Peter bitterly grinned. "Need I remind you that I still hold the cards? Just do what I ask. If I really wanted to punish you Wendy, I could have very easily killed your brothers. Still can, actually. By keeping you here, I'm getting everything I want."

Wendy silently cried as she reentered her cage. Peter once told her what Neverland meant to him and the tragedies he faced before he came to Neverland. It wasn't just about growing up, the magic was keeping him alive. These unwanted guests were more than a nuisance, they held the power that could destroy him. "Peter, please. There has to be some other way."

"Don't cry, Wendy. It's a sign of weakness."

"Your hate will not change things, Peter. Sooner or later, you'll have to forgive. Punishing them will not change things." Wendy whispered hoarsely.

_Peter and Rumple sat outside talking while they waited. Peter always hated waiting. "Rumple, what are you talking about?" _

_Peter was pulled out his thoughts as Rumple continued on about how he couldn't wait till he grew up so he could leave his father and his misfortunes behind "The future. Something to look forward to." Peter gazed at Rumple in disdain. _

_The future wasn't something to look forward to. It was more tragedies waiting to happen. There wasn't hope or some sort of silver lining. There was more pain and suffering. He had watched adults interact, he saw the burdens they carried. Why would anyone want that?" _

As Peter closed the gate to Wendy's cage, he knew this was it. Tonight was the night. He would either fail or gain his eternal freedom. However, he knew the price was high. Wendy would never forgive him this time.

_"What about you Peter? You ever think about the future?" _

_"I'm sticking with him."_

_"Yeah, and if you're not careful. You're going to turn up just like him." Rumple said in disgust. _

_"What's wrong with that? I see what you can't see Rumple." _

"Peter-"

"Goodbye Wendy." Peter tapped the top of the cage, to signify his goodbye for his precious Wendy. " Don't worry Wendy, someone will find you."

He knew exactly what he was doing. He needed them to find her, he needed the distraction. The group proved to be able to fair well against his Lost Boys. But Ariel's return to Neverland signified that the brothers failed. Naturally, he would deal with them later. Time was crucial and tonight magic needed to be saved.

_"You have a lot of growing up to do." The older man told Peter as he recalled how defiantly Peter dis__obeyed him._

He hated him. He hated him so much.

_Rumple was always talking about magic. Pan was intrigued by the magic the boys came in contact with. "Peter, don't be stupid! You don't know what that wand will even do." _

_"Care to find out?" Pan playfully joked. "You're the one who's stupid enough to think this silly little piece of magic will change him. You can't change someone. You can't make them think like you. I heard her talking and this thing can take us to another land. "_

_"That's mine, Peter. She gave it to me. "_

_"You don't even know what to do with it. Can't you see old friend, this will let us start anew. Forget him, come with me." _

_"What are you two doing?" The older man asked. _

_Rumple watched Peter trigger the portal._

**Ok so that's it...I'm actually testing this out to see if anyone would actually be interested in this story. I know the Neverland arc maybe coming to close, but in my eyes there are so much left to explore. This fic was inspired by the song : Crawling in the Dark by Linkin Park. I just find it real fitting for Peter. Review Please!**


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